Thursday night's are yoga nights.  It's my private yoga lesson night.  Except it's not really private.  I'm just the only one that shows up. 

I think it's awesome.  I only feel slightly bad that I'm still only paying 10 bucks for 1 on 1 attention.  I used to hate it but now that I know all the teachers, they accept the fact that my hamstrings are like dental floss instead of rubber bands.  It's cool, I just do everything with bent legs.

And I use garbage bags to improve my range of motion.  I think you're supposed to use a yoga strap but I don't have one. If you don't know what a yoga strap is... don't ask me.  Never seen one.  But I use the garbage bags to wrap around my feet to keep my form correct while trying to touch my toes and other far away objects.

While I may be as inflexible as a wooden board my balance is improving.  (Not that it could get any worse.)  And today my teacher asked me if I was ready for "The Headstand".  I looked at her like she was a crazy person and said heck no.  Okay.. I actually just laughed and said, "I think that would be a fatal error."

The end of class is my favorite because we lay down and relax our bodies.  She says something like, "Relax your toes, relax your quads, relax your calves, relax your stomach, relax your face, relax your jaw....  

Whenever she says relax your jaw I think of the ugliest, double chinned face I can make and I do it.  I hope she goes home and talks about me.  Because my face has to be ridiculous.

For some reason today in particular my body was burning up and I got so sweaty and gross. And of course I wore a gray tank top. No hiding sweat in that.  Gross.

At the end of class the teacher suggested Hot Yoga.  

Does it look like I need Hot Yoga?

Actually, she probably suggested it because I was already a sweaty mess so why not. 

I think I may pass out and faint at hot temperatures.  I get that it's good for your muscles but only if you can stay standing.

Finally, I did my worst pet peeve.  I went to the grocery store in yoga pants.  Is this a trend in just my town or is it everywhere? Not just grocery stores either, I may or may not have seen this in church.  And not like they just worked out yoga pants (like the super tight, how did you get those on, yoga pants)... like matching workout gear with perfect hair and make-up. Just so people weren't confused, I made sure I was still extra sweaty and didn't bother to redo my pony tail.  I also hightailed it out of there after grabbing some milk because I didn't want to run into anyone vaguely familiar.  

There are already too many people walking around with tight pants and I don't want to be a member of the club.

Amen.